It's Real

O how well do I remember
how I doubted day by day,
For I did not know for certain
that my sins were washed away;
When the Spirit tried to tell me,
I would not the truth receive.
I endeavored to be happy,
and to make myself believe.

When the truth came close and searching,
all my joy would disappear.
For I did not have the witness
of the Spirit bright and clear;
If at times the coming judgment
would appear before my mind,
O it made me so uneasy,
for God’s smile I could not find.

But at last I tired of living
such a life of fear and doubt,
For I wanted God to give me
something I would know about;
So the truth would make me happy,
and the light would clearly shine,
And the Spirit give assurance
that I’m His and He is mine.

So I prayed to God in earnest,
and not caring what folks said.
I was hungry for the blessing;
my poor soul, it must be fed;
When at last by faith I touched Him,
and, like sparks from smitten steel,
Just so quick salvation reached me;
O bless God, I know it’s real!